thai pork stirfry

from a youtube streetfood video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8wTzjbGgnE

the dish is great, the recipe is just a mnemoic. watch the video.

ingredients: (just use the correct quantities for however many people you have, there is no magic going on here, i didn't measure, watch the video to get a feel for it if you're unsure)

• a bunch of rice
• minced pork
• little red chillies, chopped
• garlic, chopped
• red onion, chopped
• garlic sprouts or spring onion, the green bit is the important bit, don't throw that away, it's the best bit
• thick oyster sauce
• rice vinegar
• soy sauce
• thai fish sauce
• oil
• salt
• sugar
• msg
• thai sweet basil
• egg
• thin cucumber
• nori or sth

things to do, in order

1. hot pan
2. hot oil
3. mince
4. chopy + fry it up
5. add mixed chopped garlic and red onion
6. add chopped red chillis LITTLE THAI ONES
7. mix & fry
8. chop in some veg, garlic sprouts ideally, maybe spring onion i guess
9. then goes in MYSTERIOUS SAUCE oyster sauce, thick one not the insipid thin one
10. then a dash of fish sauce, a dash of soy sauce
11. bit more oil; then some rice vinegar
12. tip in a scoop of salt, sugar, msg (the last is important if you're not going to do it then why are you cooking this? it'll be a sad sad dish)
13. 
14. slap on the rice
15. then go in a bunch of thai sweet basil leaves (not stalks, wrong texture, and don't chop them neither)
16. 
17. fold it over a bunch of times so it's combined
18. paddle it out in a bowl in a nice dome, don't squidge it, obviously, just build it like that
19. ok good? now new pan or whatever
20. best w curve edges, and you gotta get that oil deep, so it should be a little pan. or you know maybe A WOK
21. get it hot hot hot
22. put in an egg. don't let it get attached to the bottom, move it around gently after liek 15 seconds or whatever
23. scoop hot oil onto the egg while cooking, a lot, all the time
24. 
25. keep it mobile
26. then serve it on top of the rice!
27. also go back in time and chop up some seaweed nori as a side
28. slice up a cool little cucumber/gherkin to serve

Hao You Niu Rou, 蚝油牛肉

Cows in china say "niuuuu". Hao you is oyster sauce. Rou is flesh. Let's go. This is the style I preferred in Nanjing, a bit Sichuan I guess, probably?

Ingredients

• 400g beef (short rib cuts are great if you can be bothered, any old beef is cool though)
• 3 scallions, white portion and cut into 1-2cm sections
• Some thin slices of ginger
• 2-3 sweet peppers, chopped into chunks, thumb-size chunks (too small and all that chopstick work picking them up won't yield enough food!)
• 1-2 chillies, sliced (say 3mm per slice) and chopped a bit after that
• Some oil (not olive, smoke point lower than a beefy cat, i.e. loowww)
• Sesame oil and fine-slivered carrot or red pepper for garnish

• Marinade:
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon rice wine
• 1 teaspoon sugar (any fine kind that dissolve instantly, i.e. avoid big-grain demarara)
• 2 teaspoons potato / corn starch
  
• Sauce:
• 1 teaspoon MSG else it will all be for nought
• 1 tablespoon rice wine (if you have none, you can add a little extra wine vinegar)
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1 teaspoon rice wine vinegar
• 2 tablespoons chicken or beef stock, or even vegetable bouillon from powder
• 2 tablespoons Oyster Sauce

If you're going to eat this with a noodle replacement like spaghetti squash, prep that now and get it in (45 mins @190C / 380F).

Slice the meat across the grain, 1/8” thick, into small strips, approximately 3/4” by 2” or so. Combine the meat with the marinade ingredients, toss it up, and set aside for at least a half hour.

Now do prep - chopping and all that. Luckily there's no garlic here!

When you've finished that, make the sauce in a little bowl or a cup; mix it up a bit. It'll settle but that's OK.

If you're going to eat this alongside rice, put that on now.

Heat 4 tbsps of oil in wok until it's really warm and almost smoking. Stir fry the beef for one or two minutes, allowing it to rest occasionally on the sides of the wok, until it begins to brown; remove with a slotted spoon and set aside.

Reheat wok to medium high, and as soon as it begins to smoke, add the scallion and ginger slices and quickly stir fry until onion just begins to brown on the edges, then toss in the peppers and chillies, frying for 30 seconds or so.

Stir up your sauce with a chopstick or something, then add it. Toss the mixture in the pan until it is boiling vigorously, then, as it begins to reduce, add back the sliced meat. Mix the whole, and when sauce has reduced enough to coat the ingredients without too much puddling in the bottom of the wok, pour onto a small platter and garnish with sesame oil and slivered vegetables for appearance.

NOW EAT

Vegetarian chili

Serves.. 6? Or so?

Prep 15 mins
Cooking 1 hour


Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil 
• 1/2 medium onion, chopped 
• 2 bay leaves 
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin 
• 2 tablespoons dried oregano 
• 1 tablespoon salt 
• 2 stalks celery, chopped 
• 2 green bell peppers, chopped 
• 2 jalapeno peppers, chopped 
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped 
• 2 (4 ounce) cans chopped green chile peppers, drained 
• 2 (300g) packages vegetarian burger crumbles / 300g rasp total
• 3 (28 ounce) cans whole peeled tomatoes, crushed 
• 1/4 cup chili powder 
• 1 tablespoon ground black pepper 
• 1 440ml can kidney beans, drained 
• 1 440ml can garbanzo beans (chickpeas), drained 
• 1 440ml can black beans 

Directions

1. Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Stir in the onion, and season with bay leaves, cumin, oregano, and salt. Cook and stir until onion is tender
2. Mix in the celery, green bell peppers, jalapeno peppers, garlic, and green chile peppers. When vegetables are heated through, mix in the vegetarian burger crumbles. Reduce heat to low, cover pot, and simmer 5 minutes.
3. Mix the tomatoes into the pot. Season chili with chili powder and pepper. Stir in the kidney beans, garbanzo beans, and black beans. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer 45 minutes.

Based on http://allrecipes.com/recipe/72508/the-best-vegetarian-chili-in-the-world/ .

Ratatouille

Based on http://www.tastingtable.com/cook/recipes/how-to-make-ratatouille-french-ratatouille-recipe-eggplant-ratatouille-recipe .

Yield: 4 servings
Prep Time: 35 minutes; aubergines will sweat while you do the rest of the prep
Cook Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour and 20 minutes, plus 30 minutes draining time

INGREDIENTS

• 2 large aubergines, peeled if you like, cut into half to one-inch pieces
• 1½ teaspoons kosher salt, divided, plus more to taste
• ½ cup olive oil total
• 1 large courgette, sliced into ¼-inch-thick rounds
• 2 pints Sun Gold or cherry tomatoes, divided (eighthed whole tomatoes can be a substitute, at a pinch)
• 4 thyme sprigs
• 3 summer savory sprigs (optional)
• 1 bay leaf
• 2 medium yellow (i.e. normal) onions, cut into ½-inch dice
• 1 red bell pepper - stemmed, seeded and chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
• Pinch crushed red pepper flakes (optional)
• 1 cup loosely packed basil leaves, torn
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped flat-leaf parsley

DIRECTIONS

1. Toss the eggplant with 1 teaspoon of the salt and allow to drain in a colander for 30 minutes. Pat dry with a paper towel and set aside.
2. In a large Dutch oven or heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat, add 2 tablespoons of the olive oil. When the oil is hot but not smoking, add the eggplant and cook, stirring often, until golden, 8 to 10 minutes. If the eggplant absorbs all the oil and begins to stick to the bottom, add more oil as needed. Remove the eggplant and set aside in a medium bowl. Add 2 more tablespoons of the olive oil to the pot and cook the zucchini until golden but not completely tender, 2 to 4 minutes. Remove and transfer to the bowl with the eggplant. Do not wash out the pot.
3. Using your hands, crush half of the tomatoes and season them with ½ teaspoon of the salt and set aside.
4. Using kitchen twine, tie the thyme, savory and bay leaf sprigs together. In the same pot, heat the remaining ¼ cup of the oil. Add the onions and herb bundle, and cook until soft and translucent, 8 to 10 minutes. 
5. Add the bell pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions and red pepper are very soft, 14 to 16 minutes. 
6. Add the garlic and red pepper flakes and cook until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes. 
7. Add the crushed share of the tomatoes, then reduce the heat to medium low and cook until the tomatoes are very soft and the flavors have melded together, 8 to 10 minutes. 
8. Add the pre-cooked aubergine and courgette and the remaining tomatoes, and stir 2 to 3 times to combine. Season with salt, cover and reduce the heat to low. Cook until all the vegetables have softened, 12 to 15 minutes. 
9. Remove from the heat, adjust the seasoning as needed and discard the herb bundle. Top with the basil and parsley, and serve.

Steak au Poivre and Bananas Foster

There are recipes all over the web, and I don't have a favorite website to link to, but the basic run down (if you don't know) goes like this:

Steak:

Steak (they say Filet, but I use a NY Strip on the regular. Coat liberally in cracked black pepper. Heat pan. HOT! Add gracious amount of butter. Add steak. Sear. Flip and repeat. Remove steak. Add Brandy. Deglaze. Ignite Brandy (WOOSH!). Add heavy cream. Stir till thick. return steak, flip to coat. Ready.

Bananas Foster:

Peel and cut bananans lengthwise, then on the bias widthise into 1-2" pieces. Place a bunch of butter and brown sugar in a skillet and heat till liquidy caramel forms. Add banans, toss to coat. Add some rum (vanilla or banana flavored works well). Ignite (WOOSH!) Burn off alcohol. Spoon bananas over vanilla ice cream. Serve. Like I said, that's from memory, but recipes are basically the same. They are seriously so easy, I don't even measure anything anymore. And they are always a hit (especially with my lady friend). You make the steak, maybe some garlic mashed and steamed broccoli on the side. Then after dinner, you chat with her/him from the kitchen while you whip up the Fosters (which takes abotu 8 minutes, start to finish) and bring out a bowl of that? They will be unable to resist you. Have fun cookin'

Cinnamon Sugar Pull-Apart Bread

From Joy the Baker Makes: one 9x5x3-inch loaf For the Dough: 2 3/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1/4 cup granulated sugar 2 1/4 teaspoons (1 envelope) active dry yeast 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 ounces unsalted butter 1/3 cup whole milk 1/4 cup water 2 large eggs, at room temperature 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract For the Filling: 1 cup granulated sugar 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground nutmeg 2 ounces unsalted butter, melted until browned In a large mixing bowl (I used just the bowl of my stand mixer) whisk together 2 cups flour, sugar, yeast, and salt. Set aside. Whisk together eggs and set aside. In a small saucepan, melt together milk and butter until butter has just melted. Remove from the heat and add water and vanilla extract. Let mixture stand for a minute or two, or until the mixture registers 115 to 125 degrees F. Pour the milk mixture into the dry ingredients and mix with a spatula. Add the eggs and stir the mixture until the eggs are incorporated into the batter. The eggs will feel soupy and it’ll seem like the dough and the eggs are never going to come together. Keep stirring. Add the remaining 3/4 cup of flour and stir with the spatula for about 2 minutes. The mixture will be sticky. That’s just right. Place the dough is a large, greased bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and a clean kitchen towel. Place in a warm space and allow to rest until doubled in size, about 1 hour. *The dough can be risen until doubled in size, then refrigerated overnight for use in the morning. If you’re using this method, just let the dough rest on the counter for 30 minutes before following the roll-out directions below. While the dough rises, whisk together the sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg for the filling. Set aside. Melt 2 ounces of butter until browned. Set aside. Grease and flour a 9x5x3-inch loaf pan. Set that aside too. Deflate the risen dough and knead about 2 tablespoons of flour into the dough. Cover with a clean kitchen towel and let rest for 5 minutes. On a lightly floured work surface, use a rolling pin to roll the dough out. The dough should be 12-inches tall and about 20-inches long. If you can’t get the dough to 20-inches long… that’s okay. Just roll it as large as the dough will go. Use a pastry brush to spread melted butter across all of the dough. Sprinkle with all of the sugar and cinnamon mixture. It might seem like a lot of sugar. Seriously? Just go for it. Slice the dough vertically, into six equal-sized strips. Stack the strips on top of one another and slice the stack into six equal slices once again. You’ll have six stacks of six squares. Layer the dough squares in the loaf pan like a flip-book. Place a kitchen towel over the loaf pan and allow in a warm place for 30 to 45 minutes or until almost doubled in size. Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Place loaf in the oven and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until the top is very golden brown. The top may be lightly browned, but the center may still be raw. A nice, dark, golden brown will ensure that the center is cooked as well. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for 20 to 30 minutes. Run a butter knife around the edges of the pan to loosen the bread and invert onto a clean board. Place a cake stand or cake plate on top of the upside down loaf, and carefully invert so it’s right side up. Serve warm with coffee or tea. I think this bread is best served the day it’s made, but it can also we wrapped and kept at room temperature for up to 2 days.

Black pudding scotch eggs

After scoffing some great black pudding scotch eggs at Sheffield's 40th ale festival, I thought I'd try and make my own. I read seven or eight different recipes, and settled on something based on Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's basic scotch egg recipe. After this, I collected black pudding from a local butcher and also in sausage form from a delicatessen. The sausage form black pudding wasn't nearly as good; it's been sealed and boiled for durability, and this really impacted flavour - the butcher's square pudding was redder, squidgier, and had a much more rounded and noticeable flavour.

I made seven or eight eggs, measuring the ratio of meat in the mixture each time. There were at least four tasters, including me, James Walmesley, Steven Turner, Matthew Wintle. We settled on the recipe below.

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Scotch eggs are the sort of thing you might not consider making yourself, but they're really not difficult. DIY means you can use a good, organic sausagemeat, and season it the way you like. Kids will love making these, though a grown-up should do the deep frying. Serves four.

• 5 large tasty eggs, not from caged birds, something with flavour
• 320g organic pork sausagemeat, or fresh minced shoulder
• A few sage leaves, finely chopped, or failing that, half a spring onion (again finely chopped)
• A good pinch of ground mace or nutmeg
• 3 teaspoons Cayenne pepper (very important; give up if you don't have this)
• Salt and freshly ground pepper
• A mixture of 1 part peanut oil, 2 parts sunflower oil for deep frying. Chinese supermarket is good for extra-cheap peanut oil.
• 3 tablespoons plain flour
• 100g white breadcrumbs (at least a day old, or you can buy them pre-made)
• 160g fresh, unboiled unskinned black pudding - or the closest to this you can get

Make sure the eggs are at room temperature. Bring a large pan of water to the boil, lower in four eggs and simmer for ten minutes after you've reached a good boil; we want very cooked eggs! Take them out of the water when they're done. When the eggs are cool enough to handle, peel them.

Add to the sausagemeat the sage, mace and cayenne, along with plenty of salt and pepper, and mix well with your hands. Break up the black pudding over this mixture and keep kneading it in, bit by bit. Then, divide the mixture into eight equal pieces (about 60 grams each) and shape each piece into a flat patty.

Take two patties and use to encase one egg, moulding the meat smoothly around the egg and making sure it's sealed all over. Make sure you really mix up the joins - any seams will split when you're cooking. Repeat with the others.

Pour the oil mixture into a deep pan (10cm / 4 inches at least) pan to a depth of at least 7cm and bring up to 170C (or until a cube of white bread, when dropped in, turns light golden brown in about one minute).

Spread the flour on a plate. Beat the remaining egg in a shallow dish. Spread the breadcrumbs on another plate. When the oil is up to temperature, dust each sausagemeat-encased egg in a little flour, then dip it in beaten egg and roll it in breadcrumbs. Lower one by one into the hot oil and fry for eight to 10 minutes, turning from time to time, until deep golden brown all over. If you don't turn them, they won't cook evenly, and they'll split.

Drain on kitchen paper and serve hot! If you plan a larger batch, be sure to change the oil every so often.

Here's a picture of a really meaty and delicious plain scotch egg from the above recipe, to get you motivated!